5 Clever Ways to Develop Critical Thinking Skills in Children

Critical thinking is one of the most important skills that our children need in order to stay ahead in the future, especially in the fast-changing and competitive world that we live in today. Gone are the days when all that is required of them is to repeat facts off textbooks – it is now vital that they be critical thinkers who can analyse, assess, reconstruct and generate higher order thinking skills.

Contrary to popular belief, having the skills to think critically is not an innate trait that one is born with. Instead, it is a skill that can be learnt through guidance and lots of practice. Critical thinking entails possessing a variety of skills that help one make decisions. Apart from the ability to evaluate the information available at hand to determine its relevance, the ability to think critically also involves being open-minded and to consider alternative ways of solving problems.

According to Marilyn Price-Mitchell, a developmental psychologist based in the United States, it is important that children believe that thinking is fun and aspire to be good at it in order to be good thinkers. As they enter the teenage years, their critical thinking skills will help them make independent decisions without relying too much on their parents.

To help your children get a good head start while they are young, here are some recommended ways to develop critical thinking skills in children which you can put in place.

1. Let them learn through play

Early childhood experts recommend that children be given ample time and opportunities to play, as it is during this time that learning takes place. Try observing your child during the next play session and see how he/she discovers how things work and tries to understand the concept of cause and effect. Some questions that may be running through your child’s mind include “What happens if I drop this spoon from up here on the high chair?” or “How do I balance this tower block so that it does not topple over?”

When you provide the space and materials for playing, you are giving your child the opportunity to learn how things work and how he/she can create something unique. Although they seem simple, these hands-on experiences serve as the foundation that sharpens your child’s skills to think critically.

2. Stop and wait

As parents, we have the tendency to step in to our children’s rescue whenever they get stuck with a task or when trying to come up with an appropriate response to a question. The next time that happens, try to hold back on your actions and responses by counting to 60 (or longer) to give your child the chance to think critically through and frame his/her response, and/or complete the task independently. If needed, you can offer a helping hand by asking questions to probe your child to think further and formulate a solution based on their thought processes.

3. Impose “Intellectual Standards” while interacting

Encouraging your children to think critically starts by putting in place a set of guidelines that will help them when interacting with others on a day-to-day basis. The Foundation for Critical Thinking developed the following standards to help parents and teachers help school-aged children learn to be better thinkers:

• Encourage them to be clear by asking for explanations and examples when they do not understand something. It is alright to be confused and asking questions can help to clear any doubts.


• When speaking, it is important to be accurate – emphasise to your children that they should always check to see if something they come across is true by researching the facts.


• When discussing topics with others, make sure that your child’s responses are relevant to what is being discussed. (Note: Parents and teachers can help children stay on track by linking related and meaningful information to the topic that is being discussed.)


• Do what you can to support your child’s ability to be logical. Talk things through to help him/her visualise how things come together, question how he/she arrived at the conclusion and discuss to see if those assumptions are correct.


• Emphasise that your child is fair when coming up with conclusions. Encourage him/her to show empathy and consider the feelings and situations of others.

4. Ask open-ended questions

Instead of giving your child the answers to his/her questions, do set him/her thinking by asking non-yes or no questions. For example, you could start with “Why do you think this is happening?” and then probe further by asking, “How would you solve this problem?” or “Where do you think you can get more information?”. Along the way, make sure to be respectful towards your child’s responses – whether or not they are correct or if you agree with them. You can use phrases such as “It’s interesting that you think of it this way – can you tell me how you came up with this solution?”

5. See things from a different light

When it comes to problem-solving, do inspire your children to evaluate the issue from various angles before coming up with possible solutions. This thought process helps them to think critically and develop creative problem-solving skills. As mentioned earlier on, asking questions such as “What other things could we do to solve this?” helps them greatly in the thought process and encourages them to take their suggestions to a higher level.

 

Find out how the MindChamps Academy helps to bring out the Champion in your child through effective learning methods and more. Get the details now and book a complimentary Champion Potential Evaluation for your child now!

Read also: 5 Effective Ways to Clear Your Mind - According to Neuroscience

Financial Literacy For Children at Every Age

Having basic financial literacy for children is crucial as it helps them navigate through life as an adult. Not only will they be able to plan ahead for the future, they will also be aware of the importance of keeping their spending within limits and make wise spending decisions.

While it will be years before our children get to experience first-hand the complexities of managing their finances, there are lots we can do right now to teach them the concept of money and savings. From money games for children to lessons on counting money, here are some hands-on activities to start off with during your children’s early years:

5 Years Old and Below

Introducing coins and the piggy bank

During the early years, our children’s brain soaks up new concepts and information like a sponge and it is during this time that learning takes place at a rapid rate. As they learn best by observing others and repeating their actions, you can make the most of this by introducing the various coin denominations and putting money into a piggy bank. The more they practice this, the concepts of “money” and “saving” through the piggy bank will become second nature to them. However, do bear in mind to introduce this exercise once they are past the stage of putting things into their mouths.

Create “Saving”, “Spending” and “Sharing” jars

Here's a great way to teach children how to count money, on top of introducing the concepts of saving, spending and sharing. Set aside three jars (or plastic containers) and label them as “Saving”, “Spending” and “Sharing”. Each time your child receives money – i.e. during his/her birthday or major celebrations such as Chinese New Year or Christmas – get him/her to place the money in the jars. The money in the spending jar can be used for simple treats such as sweets or stickers, while the sharing jar can be used to help someone in need or donated for a worthy cause. Lastly, the saving jar acts as the most basic lesson in saving – your child can accumulate the money in there for bigger purchases, such as his/her favourite toy.

Play “Supermarket” at home

A great money game is to set up your very own supermarket at home by preparing DIY grocery items (think, plastic fruits and vegetables, and empty sauce bottles) and giving each item a price tag. Arrange them neatly in rows and give your child a basket and paper notes to “shop” for groceries, while you play the role of the cashier. When their basket has been filled up, count the total amount and get your child to give you the correct notes and coins to “pay” for their purchases. For older children, you can take this to a higher level by giving them a shopping list and introducing discounts and offers on selected items.

 

6 to 10 Years Old

A lesson on allowances and savings

Most children receive allowances when they start primary school. At this age, they understand that money is used a means to exchange for goods (i.e. food or stationery items from the school book shop). To establish good spending habits, you need to set down some ground rules such as to inform you what they spend their money on. This is also a good opportunity to encourage them to save, instead of spending all the allowances. You can keep them motivated by offering to match the amount saved so that they can see their money “grow” over time.

Get them involved in real-life purchase decisions

You can now include your children when making real-life purchase decisions – starting with the weekly grocery trips. Start by setting aside a budget for a set of items (e.g. $10 for milk, eggs, bread and fruits). Here, you can carry out price comparisons with them by choosing items that are on offer while keeping to the set budget for the items required. Through this exercise, you are essentially teaching them simple budgeting skills that will definitely come in handy later.

Encourage them to give back

There are many ways to teach your children to give back at this age by sharing their blessings with others. This can take the form of donating a small amount of their savings to a worthy cause (i.e. there will be plenty of opportunities to meet people with donation cans on the streets) or clearing out their toy boxes every now and then to give away their toys to children from needy families. Through these exercises, you are also inculcating important life lessons to your children, such as the value of compassion and gratitude.

Discuss needs versus wants

While you are shopping with your child, you can include them in the process of making wise financial decisions by getting them to weigh the importance between a need and want. Here are some questions to get you started:

• Do we really need to buy these buns? Or can we skip it since we are going out for dinner soon?


• Is this bowl the best we can get, or would it cost less elsewhere?

 

11 to 13 Years Old

It's never too early to start Financial Education

You have started a savings account for your children since they were little, so now’s a great time to introduce the more complex banking concepts of ATM, online banking and interest rates.

To show them that “digital money” will run out the more they spend, you can set up an excel sheet to record their spending and keep track of the amount saved. As for explaining to them about the abstract concept of interest rates, Beth Kobliner, author of the New York Times bestseller Get a Financial Life, recommends that we use specific numbers and simple terms such as, “If you set aside $100 every year at 14, you’d have $23,000 by the time you turn 65. But if you start saving at 35, you’ll only have $7,000 at 65”.

Introduce long term saving goals

By now, your children might be well versed with the concept of saving up for the things such as their favourite snacks and toys. You can take their saving efforts to the next level by getting them to set a longer-term goal for big ticket items and holding back on their regular purchases. For example, if your child has the habit of buying snacks and stationery from the school bookshop, he/she might want to hold back on those and save up for a watch instead. By setting long term goals, your child will learn about the concepts of delayed gratification, trade-offs and opportunity costs – which essentially involve giving up the things that they like in order to save money.

 

Read also: Social Skills for Children – An Age-by-Age Guide

MindChamps Academy helps to prepare your child for the challenges of the future with effective learning techniques and by instilling the Champion Mindset in them. Find out more and book a complimentary personal coaching session for your child now!

The Importance of Hugging Your Child Every Day

Author and family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”. Indeed, the benefits of hugging are boundless as it does wonders to a child’s cognitive and emotional development, and parents should not worry about hugging their children excessively.

Research has shown that children thrive in environments where they are showered with love constantly – and this starts from as early as the day they are born. In the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) of hospitals today, parents are encouraged to practice “kangaroo care” by holding their premature babies as this has been shown to lead to improvement in vital signs (i.e. weight gain and minimal breathing complications) which leads to earlier discharge.

Now that we are aware of the scientific importance of hugging your child, here are 10 amazing benefits of gathering him/ her in your arms for a soothing hug, every day:

1. It helps them feel safe

As children begin to learn about how things work, they need the loving gestures of their parents to feel emotionally secure and be assured that they are accepted into the family. The nurturing touch of a hug helps to establish trust and a sense of safety in them, which allows them to take in the sights and sounds of the world around them without worry. With a deep sense of security, hugging also leads to an openness to learn new things and promote open and honest communication between parent and child.

2. It makes them smarter

Researchers at the Washington University School of Medicine found that children who were showered with love by their mothers during the early years have a larger hippocampus, the key part of the brain that is vital for learning, memory and response to stress. While this may not imply that hugging leads to higher IQ levels in your children, it is worth noting that providing them with a loving and safe environment to grow up in does wonders for their learning and development. In the long run, they will continue to reap the benefits of your loving affection as they grow up into confident and well-adjusted individuals.

3. It’s a natural stress-buster

Physical contact such as hugging releases a chemical in our brain called oxytocin, which is often called “the love hormone”. Made primarily in the hypothalamus in the brain, oxytocin is known to reduce depression and anxiety, and may have an effect on attentional disorders. It's no wonder that some children like to hug all the time. Thus, cuddling and hugging your child helps to melt the stress away and put them (and you) in a better mood. So, the next time you find yourself having a rough day or if your children seem to be pushing your buttons, do take a moment to breathe in and reset the atmosphere with a simple cuddle.

4. It promotes a healthy self-esteem

The hugs we give our children from day one helps to reassure them that they are loved and develops a sense of self-confidence and positive mindset in them. These associations of self-worth stay with them from childhood right up to adulthood and we can boost their confidence with a simple hug. As a whole, hugging your children helps to provide a safety net for them whenever they need to take a breather from “the real world” and builds up their ability to love themselves for who they are.

5. It helps in discipline

In our efforts to discipline our children when they misbehave, we often resort to methods such as putting them in the time-out corner. However, giving them a hug could be what we need to start off the discipline process on a positive note, and this can be followed up with a firm explanation of what they did wrong.

While your child might resist the hug initially, he/she will soon give in and allow his/her body to relax, which brings on a feel-good effect. Children are more willing to listen to what we have to say when they feel good, so do encourage them with a hug to reassure them of your love – over time, you just might notice a change in their behaviour.

6. It teaches them to develop empathy

Hugging allows you and your child to be completely present in the moment and connect with how both of you are feeling on an emotional and physiological level. With this exchange of energy, hugging teaches your child the value of empathy as he/she develops an understanding of how you might be feeling. In addition, hugging also teaches your child that love is a two-way street and that he/she can show love to others by giving hugs in return. In short, a hug is a powerful lesson itself to show your children what it means to love, and be loved.

7. It promotes better health

Medical case studies have proven that hugging goes a long way to boost our immunity. The gentle pressure applied to the sternum (or better known as breastbone) and the emotional charge created while hugging stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates the body’s production of white blood cells. The combination of all these processes helps to improve the immune function and keep you healthy.

In addition, a 2015 study conducted by researchers from King’s College, London found that oxytocin (the hormone that is released as a result of hugging) has analgesic effects, which leads to lower pain ratings and intensity. So, do make it a point to hug your child often to keep him/her in the pink of health!

8. It keeps both of you happy

Gathering your child in your arms for a hug helps to uplift both your spirits and keep you both happy. Hugs function in a similar fashion to meditation and laughter. Apart from teaching you to let go of all negative vibes, they also encourage you to “go with the flow” and relish in the feel-good feelings of the moment.

Children benefit greatly from being cuddled, as it provides them with a safe place to which they can turn to when they feel scared or nervous. On top of that, hugging is also a great remedy for us, as parents, to eliminate the frustrations when dealing with our children while letting them know that our love for them remains unchanged.

 

We hope that you will be inspired to spread the love and fill your child’s day with bear hugs and cuddles after reading this article on the benefits of hugging your child.

Read also: 5 Things You Can Do to Bring Out the Best in Your Introverted Child 

 

8 Strategies to Get Your Children to Listen When You Talk

When it comes to raising children, one of the most challenging areas involves learning how to talk to our children in a way that they will listen. Although it can be frustrating to repeat your words and instructions to your children numerous times, know that they are trying their best to take in the various stimuli from their surroundings – thus it won’t be surprising if they seem to blank out or switch off every now and then.

At the end of the day, we hope to find the right balance in nurturing our children as this will reflect in the way they communicate with others. Here, we offer you some tips to help you get your message through to your children when you talk to them:

1. Connect with them at eye level

When you talk or give instructions to your child, do get down to his/her height level and maintain eye contact to get his/her attention. You can teach your child to focus and direct his/her attention towards what you are about to tell him/her by saying, “Kate, I need your eyes.”

Do the same thing when your child is trying to talk to you to assure him/her that you are listening. However, be sure not to make your eye contact too intense as your child might see it as you being commanding rather than trying to connect with him/her.

2. Keep your words brief and simple

It is common to get sidetracked and long-winded when you are talking to your child about an issue. However, the longer you ramble, the easier it is for your child to slip into a dazed state and ignore everything that you have said.

The secret to retaining your child’s attention is to keep your sentences short and brief. Do take note of how children communicate with each other to get some inspiration. It is also beneficial to observe their facial expression while you are talking to ensure that they are paying attention to what you are saying and that they understand your instructions.

3. Repeat and replay

Younger children, especially toddlers, have difficulty in making sense of directives and converting them into action, which explains the constant need to repeat your instructions to them. You can help your children internalise your message by getting them to repeat your instructions and asking them on their next course of action. For example, once your child understands that playtime is over, the next thing to do is to explain that he/she needs to clean up the mess by putting back the toys and books at the appropriate places. As your children grow up, there will be less of a need to repeat and replay your instructions to them as their processing ability gets more adept.

4. Use positive words

Threatening and judgmental sentences (e.g. “You better do this, or else…”) are bound to make your child feel hurt and discouraged, which causes them to go into defensive mode. Instead of framing the message towards your child, try using “I” messages instead – for example, “I would like you to put your toys away” or “I am so happy when you helped with the dishes”. Not only does this help your child understand your expectations better, it also works well with children who are eager to please but don’t necessarily like being ordered.

5. Give advanced notice

While some children are receptive towards the instructions given by their parents, others may need some time to process the message and comply with what is being asked of them. One of the ways you can manage this situation is to pre-empt your children on what is expected of them and give gradual instructions for them to follow.

Here are some examples to help you go through with this method:

“Bedtime is in 10 minutes. So, I need you to switch off the TV and hop into bed soon.”

“We are leaving soon. Say goodbye to teddy, and bye-bye to your friends.”

“It’s homework time. So, I need you to finish up your art and craft and clean up the table.”

6. Apply the ‘No shouting’ rule

Remember the last time you tried to get your children ready for dinner by shouting from the kitchen? This didn’t exactly get them scrambling to the dinner table, did it? Here’s another method which you might like to try instead: Walk into the room where your children are playing or studying. Using your normal tone of voice, tell them firmly that it’s almost time for dinner – then join in their activities for a few minutes before declaring a “time’s up”. By going to your child, they get the message that your request is important, rather than just ignoring your shouting from the other end of the house.

7. Ask specific questions

At times, getting your children to answer your questions might be a real struggle – you’ll either get a flat “yes” or “no”, or fail to get a response out of them at all. You can turn this situation around by asking specific questions that they lead to more than a “yes” or “no”, and to stick to topics that interest your child. For example, instead of asking the broad question of “Did you have a good day at school today?”, try asking “What was the best thing that happened to you today?” or “Tell me something that made you laugh”. You might also like to check out this article on the various questions you can ask your child to get them to talk to you about school.

8. Get your child to think

If your child does not seem to want to comply with the instructions that you give, you might want to try a reverse approach that sets them thinking instead. So, for example, instead of saying “Please do something about your messy table”, try this instead: “Think of where you would like to keep your files and textbooks so that they don’t clutter your table.” By painting a clearer picture for your child, he/she might be more likely to act on it rather than to procrastinate.

 

Nurture your child’s early years with a cutting-edge preschool curriculum which is backed by years of research. Book a visit to your preferred MindChamps PreSchool centre now!

Read also: 5 Things You Can Do to Bring Out the Best in Your Introverted Child

5 Effective Ways to Avoid Power Struggles with Children

According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the sense of power and dominance is a basic emotional need that we all seek to fulfill. The need to satisfy this craving for power begins as early as the age of two, as this is when children begin to see themselves as separate individuals from their parents. This phase of life leads children to discover that they are capable of creating or triggering various emotions and reactions in their parents – which also marks the start of a very long journey involving power struggles.

By three years old, most children have developed sharper skills in this area which causes parents to feel overwhelmed, overpowered and determined to set their child on the path of good behaviour. However, attempts by parents to overpower their children often leads to opposite results, leaving their children feeling more angry and defiant than ever.

Parents can turn this phase into a rewarding lesson for both themselves and their children by looking at this behaviour from a different light and responding to the battle of wills in a creative manner. Here are some suggestions to help you ease the power struggles with your children:

1. Side-step the power struggle

To deal with power struggles positively, one method which was shared by Karan Sims, instructor at the International Network for Children and Families, involves side-stepping the power struggle. In order to do this, you – as the parent – would need to refuse to give in to your child’s invitation to join his/her power struggle.

Here’s an example on how to side-step a power struggle situation:

When your pre-schooler gives you a flat “No” as an answer when you ask if he/she is ready for a bath, try your best to stay calm. You can turn the situation around by asking, “Can you walk to the bathroom with me or do you want me to carry you?” If your child is feeling cheeky, he/she might answer, “I want you to carry me – piggyback style – and gallop like a horse!”

In this case, although your child’s answer acts as the ticket for you to join a power struggle, you can side-step the situation by not fighting or giving in. You can turn the situation into a happy and loving one instead of starting yet another battle of wills when it comes to bath time. According to Sims, when you side-step the power struggle, you are telling your children, “I am not going to fight with you. I am not going to hurt you. I am not going to overpower you and I’m not going to give in either.”

2. Give choices – not orders

Once you have successfully side-stepped the power struggle, the next thing to do is to give your child choices. For example, if your child kicks up a fuss about leaving the house right away to attend swimming lessons, you can let him have a choice of which swim goggles to use. Once that is done, let him lock up by choosing which set of keys to use (assuming you have a master set and some spare sets). With this gradual transition, you have succeeded in getting your child to go for his swimming lesson and dissipate the power struggle about leaving the house.

Do ensure that the choices you give your children are ones which you can accept. For instance, when your child misbehaves while eating out, do not give him/her the choice of either sitting down quietly until everyone has finished eating or to leave the restaurant if you don’t intend to leave so soon.

It is also important to make sure that the choices you give do not represent alternatives of punishment. Thus, when you give your child an ultimatum by saying “You either clean up this mess or go to the time-out chair”, this creates fear and intimidation rather than empowerment.

3. Use more “Do” commands

“Don’t stay up too late!”

Does this sound familiar? Most of us tend to use “Don’t” commands to get our children to do what we want them to. However, most of the times, it gets us nowhere near what we want them to do in the first place. “Don’t” commands require your child to double process (“What does mum wants me to do in the first place?”) as most of what he/she gets from your message is what you don’t want him/her to do. This can be confusing and discouraging, especially for younger children.

To turn things around, parenting expert and best-selling author Amy McCready recommends that we calmly state what we want our children to do right from the start. So, rather than saying “Don’t run”, try “Please use your walking feet” instead.

4. Find alternatives for your child to be powerful

The next time you find yourself in the midst of a power struggle with your child, do find a way to give your child more power to ease the situation. For example, if your child often kicks up a fuss about buckling up in the car, you can put him/her in charge of making sure that the rest of his/her siblings are safely secured. Apart from making your child feel important, it helps to divert his/her attention away from the power struggle over buckling up.

5. Teach your child to say “No” respectfully

As parents, it is natural for us to react negatively when our children give “No” as an answer. However, the last thing we want to do is to send the message to them that they should not give “No” as an answer, as there will be times when they need to stand up for themselves in the face of peer pressure and inappropriate situations.  What you can do instead is to teach them to say “No” or to disagree in a respectful and appropriate manner. This can involve them explaining the reason behind their disagreement to help the other party understand their point of view better.

Related: Lying in Children: Why It Happens and What to Do About It | Chores and Children: Inspiring Your Child to Help with Chores

Looking to give your child a good head start in character building during the early years? Find out how this in incorporated into MindChamps PreSchool’s cutting-edge curriculum – book a visit to your preferred centre now!

5 Things You Can Do to Bring Out the Best in Your Introverted Child

As parents, we do our best to prepare our children to deal with the ups and downs in life as they work towards their dreams and goals. At the end of the day, we want them to grow up happy, well-adjusted and ready to take on the challenges that come their way.

While there are various resources that provide tips and strategies to bring out the best in your child, not all of them can be applied to children who are introverts. Often mistaken for being shy, some common characteristics of introverted children include:

• More inclined to spend time alone in his/her room with the door closed


• Often appear as reserved and may not share their thoughts and feelings easily


• Likely to have just one or two friends, as opposed to a big group of friends

If it seems like your child is more of an introvert, here are some things you can do to bring out the best in him/her:

1. Avoid labels

Contrary to what most people think, introversion is not a sign of socio-emotional problems such as depression. Instead, it is a unique personality trait and people who are introverts have different social needs and preferences compared to extroverts. Giving your children labels with negative connotations such as “loner” will affect them emotionally and mentally, leading them to believe that they are what you describe them to be. The best thing that you can do for your introverted child is to accept his/her personality traits and try to work around them to bring out the best in him/her.

2. Initiate small talks

At first glance, introverts may appear to have poor social skills as their style of interacting differs from that of extroverts. They tend to listen and make eye contact with the person who is talking to them. However, when they talk, they usually say what they mean and may look away from the person they are talking to.

Parents of introverts can help their children express their thoughts and feelings to others by having simple conversations with them. You can guide them along by asking questions and teaching them to see things from different perspectives. With lots of patience and practice, your introverted child will be on the right track in expressing himself/herself confidently to others.

3. Understand their social preferences

Introverted children tend to be quiet by nature and they do not enjoy being the centre of attention. On top of that, they are more comfortable interacting with one or two people at a time, as opposed to a large group of people.

Understanding the preferences of introverts in social situations such as this can go a long way to help parents and teachers guide introverted children when it comes to group activities such as Show and Tell. Give them a chance to observe the activities at first, and once they get a good idea of how things work, encourage them to join in. Be sure to assure the children that they have many good ideas to share with their friends, and do affirm their efforts and contributions along the way.

4. Don’t force him/her to make friends

Children who are introverts prefer being in the company of just one or two others. Thus, when it comes to making friends, they prefer to do this on their own terms and are highly likely to keep the circle close-knit. Although you might want your child to mingle with other children of the same age through playgroup outings, do take note not to force him/her to interact and play with the others. Doing so will only make things worse, and your child might become resentful or have negative feelings towards social interactions. Once your child finds a friend with whom he/she can relate to, things will take off naturally.

5. Be aware of his/her emotional responses

Parents of introverted children may be eager to enrol their young ones for various enrichment classes to help them improve their social skills, but an activity-filled scheduled could be overwhelming for these children. As they do not take well to crowded places and spending time with strangers, introverts often feel emotionally drained, which causes them to be grouchy and irritable. Thus, it is important to know your child’s limits when it comes to group activities and how he/she reacts to each. With this, you can tailor the daily schedule according to your child’s needs, while keeping things fun.

Read also: 10 Life Lessons and Values to Teach Your Children Before They Turn 10 | 5 Ways to Raise a Child With Emotional Intelligence 

Discover how the MindChamps Academy can help to bring out the champion in your child. Find out more now and book a complimentary personal coaching session for your child! 

The Value of Play: Age-appropriate Play Activities for Children

Whether young or old, we all love to play and we all need to do it regularly. Sadly, as we grow older, some of us have become too consumed with day-to-day errands and activities and do not get to play as much. Some of us might have even forgotten how to play.

Having a child certainly forces many parents to start thinking about playing again. Research has shown the myriad of benefits of playing from a very young age. Not only does play give children numerous opportunities to make use of their creative abilities, playing regularly also encourages a child’s imagination and dexterity to bloom. Their physical, cognitive and emotional strengths are greatly enhanced through such activity as well. Undoubtedly, play is integral to healthy brain development. Social skills are cultivated too, as children learn to engage and interact in and with the world around them through play.

The intriguing thing about play is that it makes learning happen naturally and joyfully. While playing, a child laughs, explores, wonders and imagines in the most relaxing of ways.

Here are some ideas for age-appropriate playtime with the little ones:

Birth to 1 year old

• Hold and touch your child as much as possible; physical contact makes him/her feel loved and safe.


• Whether you are breastfeeding or bottle-feeding your baby, learn his/her cues. This also teaches your baby to trust you. Such two-way bonding promotes attachment between parent and child.


• Babies love looking at faces and facial expressions. Make funny faces with your baby in front of a mirror, or point to the reflection of his nose, ears, and other parts of his body – this develops self-awareness and communication.

2 to 3 years old

• Teach your child to sing his/her favourite nursery rhyme and make up a dance or movement to go along with it.


• Give your child blocks to sort by shape or colour.


• Let him/her use magnetic alphabets to form words and teach him/her to pronounce them.


• Go to the playground with a friend’s child and help your children learn to play together.


• Play glove or finger puppets to encourage communication.

4-6 years old

• Ask your child to put one finger on your open palm. Tell a story and have a “key” word (e.g. happy). Tell the story, and when the key word is mentioned, try to grab your child’s finger. Your child will need to be alert to avoid getting caught.


• Make a simple and nutritious snack together.


• Play freeze-dance (turn on the radio and dance, then turn it off suddenly and tell your child that he/she has to freeze until the music starts again).


• Exchange jokes and riddles.

As the saying goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”. Indeed, our children’s lives will be enriched if we take the time to let them play, but better yet, play with them. Nurturing the love for play and injecting a sense of fun into the most routine and mundane of tasks in everyday life will put our children in good stead. Helping our children develop the ability to find joy in all they do from an early age will benefit them greatly throughout life.

 

©2017 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved.

Article contributed by Elvira Tan, Focus on the Family Singapore. 

Read also: 10 Life Lessons and Values to Teach Your Children Before They Turn 10

 

Chores and Children: Inspiring Your Child to Help with Chores

Have you found yourself experiencing fatigue and desperately needing help around the house? While most of us believe in the virtue of having children help around the home, the real challenge is getting them excited and committed to playing a role in the upkeep of the home. Furthermore, children who help with household chores have greater opportunities to learn to be accountable, independent and less self-centred.

So, here are some ideas from other parents that you might want to try out with your little ones. Feel free to adapt the ideas to suit your needs. Not only will it be fun for your children, this also allows both yourself and your spouse to get creative.

For children aged 3 to 5 years old

Colour the quilt

Encourage them to make their beds by drawing a picture of a quilt with 30 patches. Each time they make their beds, let them colour a patch. The goal is to complete the quilt.

The clean-up song

Help them get into the habit of picking up their toys – and make it fun. Make up lyrics to familiar songs and sing them while they pick up the toys. For example, sing “The Farmer in the Dell” with the following lyrics:

We’re picking up the blocks,

We’re picking up the blocks,

Hi-ho, the derry-o

We’re picking up the blocks.

You can even add in the child’s name to personalise it:

Josh picked up a toy

He’s such a wonderful boy

Hi-ho, the derry-o

Cleaning is a joy.

Caring for pets

Let them fill the pet’s water bowl using a cup and transferring it into the pet’s dish. When he sees the dog lapping up the water, praise him for taking care of his pet.

The key is to affirm each child when their actions have contributed to making things better for others around the home.

 

For children aged 6 to 12 years

Motivate with a point system

The goal is to instil responsibility and ownership without parental nagging. Start by determining a scale for points to be earned. Allocate more points for difficult tasks, and “bonus” points for being generous and kind. The key is to be consistent. At the end of the agreed timeframe, the child with the most points win. The winner earns the power of choice – where the next fun family outing will be, for instance – but siblings still get to join in the fun. A win-win situation for all!

Create chore charts with a reward system

Start by preparing a laminated chore list for each child, then set up magnetic charts that have their names and days of the week. Have the children pick out inexpensive items that they’d like to form a set of rewards that can be redeemed. When each child does his/her chores without being reminded, they place a magnet on the chart. Failing to do chores gets a magnet removed. Once they have accumulated enough magnets, they can pick their reward from the prize box.

Use chores to build relationships

While children do their chores, parents can help them out by working alongside, which paves the way for conversation and even playfulness.

 

With many families in Singapore relying on live-in domestic help, it remains highly important that children learn to help with basic chores so that they do not grow up with a sense of entitlement. Getting the children to perform light chores on a helper’s day off will give them a fuller appreciation of the aid that the family receives from the domestic helper. Over time, children will also learn to be more independent, increasingly confident in their growing abilities, more accountable and less egocentric.

Make helping around the home a norm for your children today, and witness the benefits your family will reap tomorrow.

©2017 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved.

Article contributed by Elvira Tan, Focus on the Family Singapore. 

Read also: What You Need to Know About Teaching Children to Share and Take Turns

Lying in Children: Why It Happens and What to Do About It

Children are bound to tell lies at some point in their lives. While this may seem worrying for parents at first, you can rest assured that it is all part of the learning process that they go through during the growing up years. On top of that, it also doubles up as a teaching opportunity to help your children differentiate between the real world and a make-believe one, and emphasise on the consequences of lying (yes, even if it is a harmless white lie) and why it is important that they tell the truth.

With this, we present to you some facts on why children lie, and what you can do to set them on the right path to honesty:

When and why do children lie?

According to a developmental model of lying proposed by Victor Talwar and Kang Lee, children typically start telling lies between the age of two and three where they blurt out statements that are untrue on purpose, without considering the consequences.

By four years old, children get better in telling lies as they have learnt how to match their facial expression to their tone of voice to make you believe that they are telling the truth. However, upon further questioning, they will eventually own up. Needless to say, they will perfect their lying ability further in primary school, where their lies get more complicated and frequent.

The reasons that lead children to tell lies vary, and may include the following:

• To conceal their mistakes and avoid getting into trouble


• To avoid hurting other people’s feelings


• To see how you respond to their lies


• To jazz up their stories and make it sound more exciting


• To get your attention and/or to get something they want

How to encourage children to tell the truth

Around the ages of 6 and 7, your children will begin to understand the difference between lies and the truth, which gives you the perfect opportunity to emphasise the importance of honesty in your family.

Here, we have outlined some age-appropriate tips to help you go through this process with your children:

1. Draw it out

Younger children are extremely imaginative and may have a hard time differentiating between what’s real and make-believe. When your child makes up a story, you can respond by saying, “I love how you came up with your story – let’s draw and turn it into a beautiful picture.” By doing this, you are inspiring him/her to be creative without giving the go-ahead to lie.

2. Praise them often

Telling “tall tales” may be your child’s way of getting attention and praise from you. To avoid this from turning into a lying habit, do make an effort to praise your child for his/her accomplishments – no matter how big or small they are. This can work wonders in boosting his/her confidence and self-esteem.

3. Read books on lying and honesty

Read books that emphasise on the importance of telling the truth – an all-time favourite is “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”, which gives a great example of what would happen when the same lie is told repeatedly.

4. Acknowledge their efforts to own up

Do praise your child when he/she owns up upon doing something wrong. You can respond by saying, “I’m glad you told me the truth – it makes me really happy when you are honest”. This assures your child that you will not get upset when he/she owns up to something that was done wrong.

5. Set the rules

Make sure to be clear on the rules and guidelines on what constitutes acceptable behavior in your family, and the consequences of breaking those rules.

6. Address the issue calmly

For older children who seem to be lying frequently, do talk to them calmly about the issue and help them see why lying does not constitute acceptable behavior. You can rationalise the issue by telling them how their lying makes you feel, how it affects the parent-child relationship and what it feels like when the people in their life no longer trust them.

 

Find out how the MindChamps PreSchool curriculum helps to nurture the love of learning in your child and instill positive values such as gratefulness, compassion and more. Book a visit to your preferred centre now!

Read also: 20 Ways to Instill Good Manners in Your Child

Dads Matter! How Fathers Can Help their Children Succeed

Every parent desires to see their children grow up to be confident, resilient and successful adults – and this comes from giving appropriate affirmation to build up their self-worth and esteem. Every child needs to feel and believe that they are loved. And as parents, we need to give that message of affirmation regularly, through the stages of development in our child’s life.

While both parents play equally important roles in this endeavour, mothers are often more inclined towards the role of giving care and affection to the child, while fathers take on the role of “play buddy” or the disciplinarian. While each parent should play to their strengths, it is good to share these tasks, and not segment their parenting roles strictly. In fact, in the case of fathers, research[i] has shown that children who have involved fathers tend to have better cognitive ability and are better problem solvers.

See also: 8 Things Parents Do to Raise Successful Children, According to Research

Dads, these are some self-esteem boosters to try with your child today:

• Celebrate your child’s milestones together as this keeps a celebratory and encouraging atmosphere in your home (E.g. diaper-free day, first word/book read, first tooth dropped)


• Apologise when you make a mistake


• Help your child become an “expert” on a topic he cares about


• Give your child the chance to make simple decisions (E.g. what she would like to wear for an outing)


• Show enthusiasm about your child’s questions;

Parenting sons and daughters also requires very different approaches – here are some tips to adjust your parenting style accordingly:

Raising Confident Sons

• Don’t praise your son only when he is tough, strong or brave. Be sure to compliment him for being sensitive and kind, for taking care of friends and siblings, and for being curious and asking questions.

• Encourage your son to pursue activities he likes and is good at, and don’t force him to do things he does not enjoy. Take an interest and participate with him in those activities.

• Comfort your son when he is sad, upset or hurt and let him know it is ok to cry. Don’t laugh at him or shame him. This will encourage him to be himself, and to understand his emotions and express them appropriately.

See also: What You Need to Know About Teaching Children to Share and Take Turns

Nurturing Secure Daughters

• Don’t just compliment your daughter on her clothes or looks. Give her specific praise on what she is good at, (E.g. being a talented artist, smart with numbers, good at sharing, a caring big sister, knows how to tie shoe laces).

• Many girls and women suffer from low self-esteem due to the messages they get from the media, which advocates the idea that beauty is all that matters. Praising your daughter’s inner beauty will help boost her self-esteem. Tell her that she is valuable, special and important, not because of how she looks but because of who she is.

While we can attest to the fact that parenting has its challenges, there is a great pay off when you are done raising your children to be confident and well-adjusted adults. Fathers play an important role as nurturers and confidence-builders in this journey, and we encourage you to try some of these tips and ideas with your children today!

©2017 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved

Article contributed by Judith Xavier, Focus on the Family Singapore. 

 

References:

Amato, P. R., & Rivera, F. (1999). Paternal involvement and children’s behavior problems. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 61 (2), 375 – 384.

Gottman, J. M., Katz, K. E., & Hooven, C. (1997). Meta-emotion: How families communicate emotionally. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.

Yogman, M. W. Kindlon, D., & Earls, F. (1995). Father involvement and cognitive/behavioral outcomes of preterm infants. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 34, 58-66.

5 Ways to Help Children Identify and Express their Emotions

The early years are crucial for your child’s development, as it is during this time that they learn about how the world around them works. Along with their new discoveries, they also learn a lot about their feelings and how to express them in the appropriate manner.

Throughout this learning journey, things can get overwhelming for young children who are trying to understand the complexities of emotions. As a result, they may vent their frustrations through emotional outbursts or have a hard time calming down. Although you may find this situation challenging, know that it is all part of your child’s learning experience in identifying and expressing their emotions.

Here are some things you can do to help your child learn and understand their emotions better:

1. Name the feeling

The different feelings that your children go through daily may be foreign to them at first, but you can help them out by naming those feelings appropriately. For example, you could say, “Mummy has to go to work, and you are sad to say goodbye” or “You were angry that your friend snatched your favourite toy”. You can also use picture books or videos to point out the various emotions of the story’s characters to your child.

When you teach your child to name feelings when they occur, your child will build an emotional vocabulary over time and get to the point where they are able to identify those feelings and talk to you about them. This will then help them learn the basics of expressing their feelings appropriately.

2. Talk about how feelings can be expressed

The best way to teach your children to express their feelings is to set a good example yourself. Start by talking about your own feelings and describe how to best express those feelings. You can also create opportunities for your child to come up with solutions for various situations, and then discuss why they are or are not appropriate.

Here are some questions you can ask to help you get started:

• Remember how Mummy got mad yesterday because the kitchen sink was clogged up? When I get mad, I take a deep breath, count to three, and think of the best way to solve the problem.


• Your brother bumped his head on the wall – how do you think he feels?


• You are frustrated because you are having a hard time putting back that box on the shelf. What can you do? I think you can either ask for help or try to do it again. What would you like to do?

3. Offer a deep nurturing connection

While babies are soothed by their parents, toddlers and pre-schoolers need to bond and feel connected to mum and dad in order to regulate and deal with their emotions. Thus, when you notice your child getting upset or overwhelmed, the best thing you can do for him/her is to reconnect and try to see things from your child’s perspective. This helps you understand the reason behind their meltdowns and allows you to respond appropriately. In fact, experts highly recommend that we hug our children when the going gets rough, as this has shown to do wonders in regulating their emotions.

4. Resist the urge to punish

Discipline methods such as spankings, time outs, giving consequences and shaming are often used to correct children’s misbehaviours, but these do nothing to help them deal with their emotions. By resorting to these methods, children get the message that their “bad” emotions are to be blamed for their misbehaviours. As a result, they try to bottle their emotions until they get to a point where it “overflows” one day through a meltdown episode.

Instead of using punishment, do help your child to process and manage their emotions in positive ways until they are able to handle it all by themselves. Leading through good example (i.e. speaking in a proper tone of voice and not yelling) and giving them activities that allow them to express their emotions (e.g. drawing and shaping with playdough) go a long way to help both of you get there.

5. Praise and practice – often!

Give praises to your child whenever he/she talks about his/her feelings. This brings across the message that he/she did the right thing and that you are proud of him/her for reaching out to you and talk about feelings.

Children should know that it is perfectly fine to express what we feel, and be given ample opportunities to respond to their feelings in appropriate ways. You can play your part in this aspect by practising strategies that will help your child express his/her emotions in various situations. For example, you can talk about feelings and coping strategies during dinner, a play date or while grocery shopping. Through the series of events that unfold in each situation, there will be opportunities for your child to express and deal with his/her feelings when interacting with others. The more your children get to do this, the faster they will learn to regulate their emotions independently.

Related: 5 Ways to Raise a Child with High Emotional Intelligence | 5 Ways to Ease PreSchool Separation Anxiety in Your Child

Part of the focus of MindChamps PreSchool’s curriculum is centred on character building. Find out how this can benefit your child during the early years – book a centre visit now!

8 Ways to Encourage Curiosity in Children

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” – Albert Einstein

An essential component in education and in life, curiosity drives us to learn new things and discover how things work around us. While there are various ways to stimulate our curiosity, it is crucial that we instil this in our children from young.

“Stimulating your child’s curiosity is a wonderful gift because it enables them to continually learn, grow and question the world they live in,” author of the Molly Moccasin books, Victoria Ryan O’Toole, shares with HowToLearn.com. She further explains that curiosity also helps children develop a healthy imagination and a sense of creativity, as well as acts as a stepping stone towards a successful future.

While most children are curious by nature and will always be up to discovering new things, there are others who need help to stimulate their curiosity. To help you along, here are some things you can do to encourage your children’s curiosity during the early years:

1. Answer their questions

Answering your child’s 1,002 questions every day can prove to be a challenge, but the last thing you want to do is to reply with a “Because I said so” or “Because that’s how it works” for convenience’s sake. Not only will this confuse her further, it will also discourage her from putting her learning and thinking caps on.

As much as possible, try to give your child an answer and engage her by discussing about the topic further. If you don’t know the answer to her question, you can suggest that both of you work together to find out. Do get her to contribute ideas on the possible places to look for answers (i.e. books, magazines or the Internet). At the end of the day, you’d want to assure your child that it pays to be curious and learn about how things work.

2. Be curious yourself

Your children learn best from observing what you do, so do take this chance to role model and pique their curiosity. Make it a point to raise questions that serve as a learning point for them as you go about the day’s activities. For example, while cooking dinner, you could ask “This sauce makes the stir-fry taste so yummy. I wonder what’s in it?” or “Why does the rainbow appear after that heavy downpour?”. You can brainstorm with your children on the possible answers, and then do some research together to find the right answers.

See also: Play is Important in More Ways Than One

3. Break away from routine

While having a set routine of activities helps to keep the day running smoothly, making small tweaks in your children’s daily activities can help to stimulate their thinking and encourage their curiosity and creativity. For example, you can change their daily breakfast menu (i.e. from the usual omelet with toast to blueberry pancakes) to expose them to new dishes and flavours. From here, get them to share with you on which one they like better and what other dishes they would like to start the day with.

4. Let them pursue their interests

Drawn by her curiosity, your child will show interest in certain activities and topics. Although you may have expectations when it comes to activities that are deemed appropriate for your child, do give her some freedom to explore those that she is interested in as well. Your child’s interest and curiosity paves way for learning which opens her mind to knowledge and new experiences. So, instead of saying to her “Stop playing the guitar and focus on your homework”, go on and encourage her by going through online tutorials to perfect her strumming.

5. Share open-ended stories

There are many ways to freshen up your children’s bedtime story routine and spur their creativity in the process. Instead of reading the same stories numerous times – although they can’t seem to get enough of it – try making it more fun by leaving the ending up to their imagination. Besides this, you can also get them to think of a new title and create a different beginning of the story to better retain their interest and attention in the story.

See also: How to Raise a Child Who Loves to Read

6. Visit new places

Visiting new places (e.g. a foreign country or a different neighbourhood/state) opens up your child to a world of new experiences and stimulates their curiosity. Through this, she will be able to experience new cultures and being in a different environment than the one she is used to, as well as witness how other people live. This certainly beats relying on documentaries on TV or turning to books or online videos for answers to her questions.

7. Leave little surprises

From a short note stuck on their lunchbox to wish them a good day at school to having a surprise guest over for dinner, positive surprises do wonders to boost your child’s mood and drive their curiosity. This experience will stimulate their thinking as they ask themselves questions such as “When did mum/dad slipped in that note?” and “How did they manage to track down our previous neighbor and invite him/her for dinner?”.

8. Cut out the B-word

The last thing you want to do is to lead your child to think that boredom is the easy way out, so do be extra careful about labelling activities or situations as “boring”. When a routine activity gets to a point of being monotonous, encourage your child to look at it from a different light and find new ways to make it interesting. For people who are constantly curious, there is always something new to learn, discover and understand – even if that something has been done over a dozen times.

 

Find out how children are encouraged to be a life-long learner, among other life lessons, during their time at MindChamps PreSchool. Schedule a visit to your preferred centre now!

5 Activities that Teach Children about Love

While you have been showering your children with love from the moment they were born, understanding the true meaning of love may be challenging for them. Teaching children about what love really entails helps them develop values such as empathy and kindness, as well as improves their relationship with the people around them.

Apart from role modelling acts of love to your child during the early years, you can also incorporate lessons on love through age-appropriate activities that promote this essential life value. Here are some ideas to help you get started:

1. Read stories on love

Add books that focus on love and friendship to your children’s bedtime story collection, as stories make great tools for explaining abstract concepts and emotions. Some great titles include “Guess How Much I Love You” by Sam McBratney which illustrates the love of a parent towards his/her child while “Lost and Found” by Oliver Jeffers tells the tale of a boy who finds, then loses his penguin friend, making it a good story to tell your children and talk to them about the importance of love and friendship.

See also: 10 Life Lessons and Values to Teach Your Children Before They Turn 10

2. Make love-themed crafts

Get your child to express their love to their friends and family by making a love-themed hand-crafted item. Some ideas which you can start off with include:

• Lollipop flowers


• Ladybug heart craft


• Friendship bracelets


• Cupcake liner cards

For younger children, you can help them out with the cutting and writing of note to add that heartfelt touch to their handmade craft. This activity can be done any day, anytime and there’s no need to wait for a special occasion to get creative.

3. Giving back to the community

Encourage your child to show love and compassion beyond their circle of family and friends by extending it to the less fortunate in the community. The options for volunteer opportunities are plentiful and includes distributing packets of rice to needy old folks, serving meals at the Soup Kitchen, and donating their toys and clothes to the Salvation Army to help needy families. Through these initiatives, you can talk to your child about how he/she feels to spread love and happiness to those who in need.

4. Talk about the people your child has met

Among all the people whom your child has known up to today, get her to think back of the time she made a new friend. Ask her to tell you a few positive traits she noticed about this new friend, the series of events that led to them becoming friends and what she like most about him/her.

You can also talk about how we should love and accept everyone for who they are, although they may look and behave differently from us (e.g. speaking a different language, doing things differently or having physical challenges). To demonstrate this, you can carry out a simple role-playing exercise by taking turns to pretend that each of you are meeting a new friend for the first time, and how to show love to the other person.

See also: 6 Ways to Teach Your Child to be Grateful in Life

5. Play a game of “Loving Charades”

As we show love in different ways to the people in our lives, it is important to teach your children the appropriate way to show their affection. You can do this by playing this game of “Loving Charades” where everyone take turns to come up with creative ways to show love to various people in different situations.

Here’s how the game is played:

• Get ready a stack of cards with loving actions written (e.g. Greeting someone, cheering up someone, offering a food/drink)


• Have some photos of people you know (e.g. family and friends) as well as strangers (you can use illustrations or stock images)


• Each person draws a card and a photo to act out the loving action to person without saying it out


• The rest will need to guess what the action is

 

At MindChamps PreSchool, children are instilled with values such as gratefulness and compassion to bring out the champion in them. Book a visit to your preferred centre to find out more.

8 Things Parents Do to Raise Successful Children, According to Research

As parents, we want our children to grow up to be happy and healthy, on top of teaching them the qualities of a successful person. While there is no set technique that is linked to raising successful children, research carried out by psychologists have shown that there are a few things parents of successful children do to bring out the best in them.

Here are some common things that parents do to raise successful children:

1. Give their children chores right from the start

As reported by The Washington Times, research conducted by the University of Mississippi revealed that getting children to help with house chores from as early as 3 or 4 brings about huge benefits. According to Marty Rossmann who led the study, chores teach children about the importance of contributing to the family and give them a sense of empathy as they grow up. Those who grew up doing chores from young also turned out to be well-adjusted, enjoyed better relationships with the people in their life and tend to be more successful in their career.

However, researchers also warn against offering children an allowance in return for chores. Tying chores to a “carrot” may lower the motivation of a child in getting the chores done, as at the end of the day, he/she will only be doing it for the sake of the expected reward.

2. Teach their children good coping skills

With setbacks and disappointments being a natural part of our lives, one of the most important lesson we can pass on to our children is the ability to cope with these defeats. Dr Marie Hartwell-Walker, a US-based psychologist and marriage & family counsellor, shared in a PsychCentral article that children who pick up the skills to cope will gain the strength and confidence to carry on and face life’s challenges – such as when they do not perform as well as expected in exams or when their friends let them down.

One of the best ways to impart this skill to our children is by leading through example. Create opportunities that allow them to observe how you tackle your own challenges head-on and the process you go through when solving problems. In time, they will learn to apply these strategies when faced with similar situations.

See also: 5 Ways to Ease Pre-school Separation Anxiety in Your Child

3. Set high expectations according to their children’s abilities

Oftentimes, the achievement of children is linked to the expectations that their parents set for them in the first place and the things they do to help their children get there. For example, parents who expect their children to further their studies in university will do what they can to nurture their academic achievement and guide them towards success.

The practice of setting high expectations for our children in order to inspire their success is in line with the Pygmalion effect, a psychology finding that states that what we expect of others often becomes a reality. To help your children live up to your expectations, you might want to work with them to find out where their abilities lie, and then set a goal that encourages them to go beyond what they are capable of – taking care to keep it within reasonable limits.

4. Develop their children’s social skills

In our world today, having the knowledge and skills to do a job well is simply not enough to ensure one’s success. It is equally important for one to possess the soft skills to maintain good relationships with the people in their lives, and to have values such as empathy and compassion. These social skills can be instilled in children from young as they go a long way to help them attain success in life.

The correlation between one’s social skills and success in life is affirmed by a 20-year study conducted by researchers from Pennsylvania University and Duke University which tracked more than 700 children across the US from the time they started kindergarten up to age 25. Among the findings generated from the study included the fact that children who were socially competent had a higher likelihood of graduating from college and have a full-time job compared to those with limited social skills. While socially competent children were helpful, cooperative and are able to resolve problems on their own, those with limited social skills had a higher chance of having issues such as getting on the wrong side of law.

See also: Social Skills for Children – An Age-by-age Guide

5. Children are “allowed” to learn from failures

A huge part of growing up involves understanding and learning that failure is a stepping stone to success. Thus, our role as parents is to give our children the opportunity to learn from their failures and work hard towards success. Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck calls this the “growth mindset”, where one “thrives on challenges and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities”. At the end of the day, the experience of learning from their failures help children to develop their character, build resilience and attain success.

6. Both parents resolve conflicts in a proper manner

Conflicts may be part and parcel of our lives, but how we resolve them can affect how well our children relate to others and cope with the challenges in life. E. Mark Cummings, a developmental psychologist at Notre Dame University, mentions in a Developmental Science article that when children witness conflicts at home which involve support, compromise, and positive emotions, they gain better social skills and enjoy better self-esteem and emotional security which can affect how well they do in school.

He explains that when children watch their parents working together to resolve conflicts, this helps to reassure them that mum and dad can work things through. On the other hand, chronic stress from witnessing frequent conflicts that go unresolved at home can cause negative emotions and behavior in children such as being worried, anxious, aggressive and struggling with their studies.

7. Encourage their children to stick to their goals

As researched by psychologist Angela Duckworth of University of Pennsylvania, grit (which is defined as a tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward very long-term goals) often correlates with educational attainment and academic success. Thus, it is beneficial for parents to encourage their children to stick to their goals in life – despite the challenges – in order to commit to a future they want to create for themselves.

8. Help their children grow up and discover their identity

The key to achieving this is to create a balance when it comes to parenting.

Children need to learn to identify their strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and to think about what’s best for themselves in any given situation. While over-parenting your children hinders their ability to think independently, permissive parenting deprives them of the guidance and ability to focus and commit. Instead, try to make use of every teachable opportunity that present itself, as the best way to help your children learn about themselves and how the world functions is by modelling the appropriate actions and behaviour.

 

Find out how the MindChamps Academy equips your child with effective learning techniques and thinking skills to excel in school and in life. Book a Complimentary Personal Coaching Session now!

10 Life Lessons and Values to Teach Your Children Before They Turn 10

There are many skills that our children are expected to learn and master in order to excel in today’s fast-changing world. In our bid to give them the best things in life, we do what we can to give them the foundation to these skills. At the same time, there are many life lessons that parents should not miss out on teaching their children. These life lessons and values will help your children cope with the challenges of the real world with grace and confidence as they grow up.

Here are some life lessons and values to impart to your children during the tender growing up years:

1. Lessons on good manners

Good manners should be inculcated in children from the day they are born, for this helps them interact with the people they meet in their daily lives and shapes them into a loving and considerate person.

You can teach your children the basics of good manners from the day he or she is born. Use common phrases such as “Please” and “Thank you” when you are interacting with your child, and keep up with this as he/she grows up. Do make it a habit to use these phrases when he shares his favourite items with you. Although your child may not be able to express himself during the early years, he is observing your moves and actions and learning to make sense of the interactions taking place. The more you model the basics of good manners, these examples will become a part of your child’s life in time to come.

2. The value of honesty

It is important that we teach our children about the value of honesty and explain to them the consequences of lying. As children learn by taking our actions as an example, we need to make a conscious effort to show them that they should always strive to tell the truth. For example, if you tell your friend that you can’t attend their party because the whole family will be away and then head out for dinner with the family instead, your child will think that it is alright to tell a white lie occasionally. Instead, explain to your child that he/she should always aim to tell the truth – and that they should not attempt to make others feel better by telling white lies.

3. The joy of learning

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you will go” – Dr. Seuss

The quote above by popular children’s author, Dr. Theodor Seuss Geisel, puts across the fact that learning is a life-long journey and that it leads to a world of opportunities. While you help your children to develop a love of reading, do also point out to them that there are many ways to learn new things apart from reading. Encourage them to open their minds to new experiences and learn from life situations and the people that they cross paths with.

See also: Top 3 Qualities That Will Help Your Child Grow Up To Be Successful.

4. The courage to speak up

As much as you’d like to protect your child as he/she goes through the ups and downs in life, you may not be able to step in all the time. Thus, teaching your child to speak up and stand up for himself is one of the most valuable lessons that you can impart during the growing up years. This helps to give him the courage to ask questions when he does not understand what is being taught in class and the confidence to put across his thoughts and ideas to others as an adult.

5. How to manage money

We go to great lengths to teach our children essential life skills such as reading, writing and to play various games, but we don’t seem to spend time or do enough to teach them about money management. This life skill should be taught from the moment your children start receiving an allowance for school, as it helps them learn about the importance of saving, how to budget their money and the consequences of spending more than what they can afford. By giving your children a good head start in money management, they will grow up with a sense of responsibility when it comes to money matters.

6. Make healthy food choices

Children adopt their eating habits and lifestyle based on what they have been practicing from young. So, do make it a point to prepare healthy meals for the family despite your busy daily schedule as this will help your children maintain a healthy weight and normal growth. Some of the key aspects of healthy eating involves portion control and limiting the fat and sugar that your child consumes. Apart from ensuring that your child’s meals are complete with the vital nutrients such as protein, carbohydrate and fibre, you can also offer smarter snack choices such as a bowl of fruits instead of chocolates and cookies.

7. Resolve disagreements peacefully

As we go through life, there will be instances where disagreements occur with the people we meet and communicate with. We need to teach our children the art of staying calm when facing disagreements and confrontations. Get your child to take a deep breath and look at the issue from all sides by asking himself/herself questions such as “why” and “what if”. This helps them focus on the problem at hand and not to bear grudges against the other person, and to keep negative emotions such as anger, rage and dissatisfaction under control.

See also: 20 Ways To Instil Good Manners In Your Child.

8. Lend a helping hand to others

Being kind to others by lending a helping hand is all it takes to brighten up someone’s day – be it helping to fold the laundry or to help an elderly neighbour with her bag of groceries. So, do encourage your children to lend a helping hand whenever the opportunity arises. This teaches them values such as compassion and empathy, as they show care to others and put the needs of others first before that of their own.

9. To live life with happiness and positivity

Life may not be a bed of roses all the time, neither should it be dark and gloomy. It is essentially a mix of ups and downs which paves the way for rich learning experiences. So, do encourage your children to focus on the positives, count their blessings and find joy in the little things that bring happiness – such as a loving family and a nice, cosy home to live in. By adopting a positive mindset, your children will develop the resilience to cope with all the challenges that come their way and emerge stronger, wiser than before.

10. To love with all their hearts

Love conquers all, and it is the one thing that ignites your child’s passions in life. Besides showering our children with love, we need to teach them to love unconditionally with all their hearts. This involves accepting others not for what they do or are capable of, but to love them for who they are. By doing this, your children will pick up important values such as the ability to respect other people’s choices (even if they do not agree with them), and to be their true selves without succumbing to what others expect of them.

 

Find out the 10 values that are instilled during lesson time at MindChamps PreSchool as we strive to bring out the champion in your child. Book a visit to your preferred centre now!

6 Habits of Happy Parents – How to Find Joy in Parenting

Amidst our duty to raise successful children, finding joy in parenting may pose as a challenge. As parents, our children are the centre of our universe and we take great joy in seeing them live in their happy moments. Apart from the effort we put in to raise them to be happy, well-adjusted individuals, psychologists confirm that parents have a great role to play to set a good example to their children on how to live a happy, fulfilling life.

As with most things in life, living life to the fullest is easier said than done – especially when raising children comes with a whole new set of challenges. To help you fill your life with joy and love and to achieve a great balance in parenting, we offer you the following tips:

1. Get help when it’s needed

When it comes to parenting, there’s always an endless list of things to do in a day – from arranging your children’s pick-up and drop-off from school to making sure that meals are prepared for the family and that the house is in order. Add in a full-time job to the equation, and getting it all done by yourself could prove to be challenging and may leave you worn out and unsatisfied by the end of the day.

Here’s how to do it: As the saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child” – know that parenting and running a household need not be a two-person show and that it is perfectly fine to get help when it is needed. This could involve asking for help from family and friends or getting a live-in helper or nanny who can share the load of house chores and childcare with you.

2. Set aside some time for fun!

Giving your children the greatest life lessons and experiences does not need to be a serious affair. In fact, renowned educator Maria Montessori once said that “Play is the work of the child” and it is through play that children learn best about the world around them during the early years. So, here’s a reminder for you to inject some fun in the activities that you plan for your children throughout the week. After all, this also gives you the chance to destress, recharge and feel good about life all over again.

Here’s how to do it: Plan for some fun activities during the week that serve a learning purpose to your children. This includes the likes of exploring the Singapore Botanic Gardens where they get to learn and experience nature first-hand, or taking a trip to the museum for an educational journey about our country and its humble beginnings.

3. Be happy with what you have

The grass may be greener over the other side, but that does not necessarily mean that having the best things in life – for example, better-behaved children, a bigger house, or nicer car – will make you happier. The key to your happiness lies in counting your blessings in life instead of focusing on what you deem as the “shortfalls”. For all you know, you might be living the dream life in the eyes of someone else.

Here’s how to do it: Resist the temptation to compare your children to that of your friends, or to check their growth and development against the “standard guidelines”. Every child develops differently and at their own pace, with unique strengths and weaknesses. Focus on those instead and work together with your child based on where his/ her passion and interests lie to help him/ her become the best that he/ she can be. At the same time, do not neglect your spouse. Make time for quality bonding sessions to keep your marriage and relationship alive – this also gives both of you the opportunity to recharge and carry out the role as parents to your children.

4. Be flexible with the rules

Rules are created to teach your children values such as self-discipline and learn the value of giving our best in everything that we do. However, as the person who decides on the rules, you get the flexibility to tailor those rules to each of your child’s needs and personalities. As it is often said that when it comes to parenting, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution that will apply for all children – our job is to nurture them based on their abilities and do our best to impart good values and important life lessons to them.

Here’s how to do it: Get to know the strengths and weaknesses of your child and what motivates them to move forward. For example, your five-year-old might be motivated with screen time upon completing the day’s activity sheets, while the only push factor to get your seven-year-old to complete his/her homework is a healthy snack. You can use their likes and preferences as a hook to encourage learning and to create happy moments at home with your children – just as long as you are consistent in applying them

5. Focus on what lies ahead

We all have parenting goals that we work towards to and we try our best to do the right things when raising our children. However, during the toughest times, we either find ourselves losing our temper, being inconsistent and/or blaming ourselves for not doing a better job at raising our children. In line with the popular idiom, “Let bygones be bygones”, sometimes we need to remind ourselves to let go of past mistakes and focus instead on what you can do to be there for your children during the crucial growing up years.

Here’s how to do it: We are all learning to be the best that we can be for our children, and that there are days when things do not go as planned. Do let those tough days go and get on with life as a mum or dad by thinking of what to do next instead of pondering on what has been done. This can involve spending quality time with your children to get to know them better or plan a fun family bonding activity for the weekend.

Whatever you choose to do, remember that these tough moments will not last forever and with this, the highlights of parenting your children while they are young (i.e. the frequent “I love you” that they say so willingly) will be rare as the years go by. So, do use this time to cherish the precious moments and carry on with the journey.

6. Make time for hugs and kisses

Here’s another great reason to plough through the toughest moments of parenting while your children are young. As mentioned before, these moments do not last long and at this age, they can be easily diffused with something as simple as a hug and kiss. Apart from melting the tension from the situation, hugging and kissing also helps to spread those “feel good” feelings between you and your child.

Here’s how to do it: Gather your child for a cuddle every chance you get, even when they are unhappy or are adamant at throwing tantrums for as long as possible. You’ll be surprised how quickly this can turn around a sticky situation. But do note thatthis “secret weapon” may not work for long as your child grows up – so, seize the moment and use it to your advantage while you can!

 

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