25 Different Ways to Ask Your Child “How Was School Today?”

Don’t we all want to know all about our children’s day at school - like if they made new friends, or if the math teacher was talking too fast? Yet, when you pose the question “So, how was school today?” to your child, chances are the answer you get would go along the lines of “Great!” or “It was alright, I guess”.

Feeling exasperated with your child’s response? Well, it looks like they feel just as stressed with being asked that question as well.

According to Michael Thompson, Ph.D., author of The Pressured Child, ‘How was school today?’ is a frustrating question for both parents and kids. “Parents never get the answer they want and often don’t understand how difficult this question really is. Without meaning to, parents are asking for a summary but kids don’t summarise the way adults do. So most kids just say ‘fine’ or try to avoid the question entirely,” he shares. To add on to this, Dr. Lawrence Cohen, author of “Playful Parenting” says that many parents repeat this question if they fail to get a “good enough response” because they are not sure how else to ask it.

Thankfully, with some tweaks to the way you ask the question, both you and your child might have a nicer conversation about their day at school. Here’s a list of 25 questions to help you get started:

1. What was the best thing that happened at school today?


2. What was the worst thing that happened at school today?


3. Tell me one thing that made you laugh today.


4. Given a choice, who would you sit next to in class? Why?


5. Who would you NOT want to sit next to – and why?


6. What is your favourite place to be in school?


7. Tell me a strange word you heard today. (Or something strange which someone said to you)


8. If I talked to your teacher right now, what would she tell me about you?


9. What did you do today to make someone’s day better?


10. How did someone help to make your day better?


11. Tell me one thing you learnt today.


12. What made you the happiest today?


13. What bored you to tears today?


14. Who would you like to play with at recess that you have never played with before?


15. Tell me something good that happened today.


16. What word did your teacher use the most today?


17. What do you think you should do/learn more in school?


18. What do you think you should do/learn less of in school?


19. Who among your classmates do you think could be nicer to you? What do you do when he/she is not being nice to you?


20. Where do you hang out the most during recess?


21. What do you like the most about recess?


22. Who is the funniest person in your class? Why is that so?


23. If you could be the teacher tomorrow, what would you do?


24. If you could change places in class, who would you trade with? Why?


25. Tell me 3 things you used your pencil for today.

These open-ended questions serve as a non-threatening way to find out how your child really feels about school and his/her interactions with friends and teachers. On the other hand, they also open the door for a discussion by asking “why” questions (Tip: Be prepared to be surprised with the answers they give you), and this helps you get to the root of issues you may not know your child was going through.

 

Read also: 8 Ways to Encourage Curiosity in Children

This article was first published on the MindChamps Wordpress Blog.

 

 

Play is Important in More Ways than One

For children to enjoy an enriching childhood, it is essential for them to be given sufficient time to discover both the world and themselves in a fun and age-appropriate way. If we deny children the time to play, we stifle their ability to learn later in life by inhibiting the development of essential neural networks related to association, problem-solving and even the recognition of 'cause and effect'.

The 'play gap' is a result of our society becoming preoccupied with merely measuring instead of truly educating young people – but it is important to realise, as Einstein once wrote, "Not everything that counts can be counted and not everything that be counted counts."

Young children learn by experiencing the world 'hands-on'. They are sensory/emotional learners, whose stage of cognitive development is unsuited for the misguided 'tutoring', drilling and cramming to which too many children are subjected. It's unfortunate that in our society today, children are deprived of the important pleasure of play because adults, with the best of intentions, seek to provide them with a ‘head start’ to education by sending them for various ‘enrichment’ classes. Sadly, many of these programmes attempt to treat children as 'little adults', with methods that leave the child bored, frustrated and stressed – and these emotions can colour all later learning experiences and affect the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being and personal growth of children unfavourably.

It is important for kids to have enough time to play

Some say, 'Play is the real work of childhood.' If we grasp this simple concept – if we understand that what many adults see as a 'waste of time' is actually Nature's way of building the cognitive capacity and intellectual frameworks upon which all later learning is built – then we would not even ask the questions above. Rather, we would make as much time as possible available for play – both 'free', unsupervised play and what we at MindChamps call 'crafted play' (play activities into which certain essential learning concepts have been subtly included).

As long as the child has sufficient time for other necessary activities, such as sleep, having meals, etc., parents should not introduce a cap on playtime.

Is there an age where kids should switch their focus from play to study?

Perhaps it is good to ponder the question, 'What is the purpose of study?' Is it to pass exams, or is there a more fundamental need to learn to control the mass of information and the demands of a competitive, globalised society? If we think it is the former, then we are living in the past, and our children will struggle to cope with the ever-more-complex world which confronts them. If we see education as preparing children for whatever world they will face in 15 or 20 years' time, then we will be more interested in making sure that foundation skills and learning strategies are in place, and the foundations for all these skills and strategies lie in play – not in rote learning and drill.

It is essential for parents to first ensure that their children develop an internal framework that makes them ready to learn, want to learn and love to learn before they are compelled into a regime of study. And the ideal age for children to develop this internal framework is during their time in pre-school and before they start primary school. This is the reason why MindChamps developed a unique preschool curriculum which nurtures all the key foundations of learning and out-of-school programmes for young children, focusing on creating the fun, experiential, active and ‘hands-on’ foundation activities that children enjoy. Thus, children will be able to develop the love for lifelong learning, possessing techniques to cope with their studies when they enter primary school.

What are some appropriate play activities for pre-schoolers?

Young children are ‘sensory-emotional’ learners. Their brains have not yet developed the complex neural networks required to process abstract concepts. They make connections (literally) through what they can touch, hear and see – and through how they feel, emotionally.

This is what we, at MindChamps PreSchool, call ‘Crafted Play’. Essentially, there are two types of play:

1. Free Play – Where children, while supervised, are left basically to their own devices in a space which ideally has many sources of stimulation (toys, balls, blocks, drawing equipment etc.) and physical activities (climbing frames, mats, slides etc.), and learning is random and wide-ranging.

2. Crafted Play – Where the activities, while allowing the child the latitude to Explore, Experience, Experiment and Enjoy, are given just enough structure to lead towards a particular learning outcome (numeracy skills, language/literacy skills, social skills, or perhaps a new ‘understanding’), without removing the all-important ‘play’ elements. In numeracy skills, kids take part in ‘real life’ money exchanges where they buy bananas as a snack, for instance.

Both forms of play are equally important, and both should be encouraged.

At MindChamps PreSchool, we employ Crafted Play in every key learning area, from literacy and numeracy to age-appropriate scientific concepts and even social/communication skills. Using our unique ‘Play-Stations’ (not the electronic kind), we can introduce children to a range of experiences and lifelong learning behaviours that the ‘drill and kill’ approach to teaching can never match.

Book a visit @ MindChamps PreSchool today!

Article contributed by Brian Caswell, Dean of Research & Programme Development at MindChamps.

 

Top Ways to Encourage Your Child to Learn Chinese

How do you encourage your child to learn Chinese? The learning of Chinese has myriad benefits. First of all, in Singapore, it is an academic requirement for children to study and do well in a mother tongue for PSLE. And since Chinese has long been, and is increasingly a language for business expansion, trade, engineering, tourism and cultural understanding, the learning of the language transcends academic achievement to wide usage in many aspects. In fact, it is a known fact that Mandarin is the most widely spoken language in the world.

Some children may not enjoy learning Chinese, especially when some perceive it to be the more difficult of the two languages (the less difficult being English) and because Mandarin is an entirely different language altogether, with different intonation and writing system.

Let’s find some ways to encourage your child to learn Mandarin, so that he/she becomes inherently interested in the language and culture, not just because you told him/her so.

1. Lay the Foundation by Being Positive about the Language

Show your child how Chinese can inspire, especially in that it is a modern language of tremendous relevance.

Bring your child to Kinokuniya and show her the comic books that she can read. If you are taking Singapore Airlines on your next holiday, flip open the KrisShop catalogue that is choc-a-bloc with latest gift items for children, drawing her attention to the descriptions for the products that are written in English as well as Chinese. Read them together, possibly replacing some difficult words for her and to encourage her, buy her the right gift.

2. Teach Your Child About the Culture as well as the Language

The Singapore Hokkien Huay Kuan Dance Theatre Limited, SHHKD, for example, seeks to cultivate an understanding and appreciation for Chinese dance by developing Chinese dance as an accessible art form for the larger community of all age groups and abilities, from toddlers to adults.

Learning about dance is a fine way to introduce your child to the language as well, as the instructions will point her in the right direction, literally.

While we could devote hundreds of pages to Chinese cuisine, we will leave that to you and your child’s culinary pleasure. Instead, we suggest that you bring your child to authentic Chinese restaurants pertaining to different dialect groups, to enjoy delicious steamed fish with shallots, fried noodles, Hakka abacus dish and more.

To teach him the art of Chinese cuisine, you can also indulge in dim sum, from learning to use chopsticks to pick up dainty morsels to the unique way of tapping two fingers as a way of saying ‘thank you’ when the waiter pours the tea.

And since Lunar New Year is round the corner, why not let him be a vital part of lao yusheng (raw fish tossing)? Prep your kid to recite auspicious words as the family tosses away, teaching him to say kwaigao zhangda (to grow up quickly) and dajia yiqilao (let’s do it together!).

3. Help Your Child Develop Natural Literacy Skills

Research from Professor AE Cunningham, University of California, Berkeley shows that children who come from homes where parents have dedicated time to giving them regular, enriching reading and writing experiences have significant academic advantage over children who have not had these experiences.

It’s important to point out here that some parents believe that making their children memorise characters and isolated words (or ‘phonics’) is the way to introduce reading to their children. This is monotonous to the child.  In addition, this kind of learning simply makes children ‘decoders’ of what they learn, not a ‘reader’ who understands what he is reading or one who is excited about reading.

Consider this: “Research does in fact show that preschoolers who have better letter naming and recognition skills tend to become better readers later on [and] these skills are best developed through ‘natural literacy activities’, not drill and memorisation. There is no evidence that memorising alphabet letters out of context predicts later reading skills.” (Raver & Zigler, 2004)

Here are the top natural literacy activities that create the best readers and writers:

I. Read to your children every day – this exposes him to multiple language structures, a wide vocabulary and the sheer joy of language.

II. Engage in conversation with your child frequently – this expands her spoken vocabulary. Research shows that strong verbal skills are linked to strong reading skills.

III. Point out written language in your environment – For example, point out writing on things such Chinese shop signs, packaging and posters. This connects the written word with useful and important information.

IV. Arrange play dates with friends – This encourages social interaction and will expand your child’s Chinese vocabulary through negotiation, discussion and role play.

V. Ensure your child observes you reading – When you read in front of your children you are being a strong role model, communicating that you value reading.

VI. Make your home a ‘literacy rich environment’ – Ensure you have plenty of reading materials available at home such as a bookshelf of age appropriate books, in addition to other forms of reading materials such as magazines, newspapers , brochures and on computers, as e-books.

VII. Have a set of magnetic characters on your fridge – This encourages your child to spontaneously manipulate letters and begin forming words.

If you are not a fluent speaker of Chinese, why not take this opportunity to learn the language together?

According to Brian Caswell, MindChamps Dean of Research and Programme Development: “At MindChamps Chinese PreSchool, we cultivate the necessary skills within our pre-schoolers so that they can become enthusiastic life-long speakers, listeners, readers and writers. We also develop their confidence in both written and spoken Mandarin and English. Our approach is based on the latest scientific research into language acquisition and the importance of a child's engagement with language, rather than the discredited "drill and kill" approach.  As such, we have incorporated age and developmentally appropriate fun and engaging activities and programmes such as MindChamps Reading & Writing, The Love for Chinese Language and Chinese Cultural Appreciation.”

5 Ways to Ease Preschool Separation Anxiety in Your Child

Starting preschool should be a time of immense joy and anticipation as your little child will be beginning school for the first time, forging meaningful relationships with teachers and classmates. However, this could prove a challenging time for both you and your child, with some toddlers even developing separation anxiety. Nonetheless, give your child a boost of courage, as you tread the positive path of having confidence in him. As the saying goes, “70% of success is about turning up”. So go ahead, let your toddler take the first steps to education and lifelong learning.

Check out our five tips for effectively easing your child’s preschool separation anxiety.

1. Attachment Theory

Quite the opposite of separation anxiety is “Attachment Theory”, and according to world-renowned psychologist John Bowlby, children who form a secure attachment with their parents at an early age have the following characteristics in common, among others:

• Higher self-esteem


• Increased ability to manage their impulses


• Increased ability to cope with difficulties


• Positive relationships with parents and other care-givers – and with authority figures

Such kids are less disruptive, less aggressive and more mature. They are better able to concentrate, and therefore learn more effectively and more successfully.

These are all vital aspects inculcated in a toddler who will prove to be a Champion at the start of school, as well as beyond. So what’s their secret?

Bowlby’s extensive research reveals that the best way to achieve a strong attachment with a child is through “bonding experiences”. The acts of holding, rocking, singing, feeding, gazing, kissing and other nurturing behavior involved in caring for infants and young children are all bonding experiences.

In terms of “how much bonding is enough”, authors Brian Caswell and David Chiem says in Talking with the Sky that “different children require different amounts of bonding time, and besides, the quality of the experience is rarely time-related”. They add that precious moments occurring “every half-an-hour a day will make a world of difference to your child, and to you.”

If you want to ease separation anxiety in your child when school starts, start those bonding moments now!

2. Communicate with the Teacher

The central figures in school are certainly the teachers. If you missed MindChamps’ orientation, fret not. You can still get to know your child’s teacher, drawing her attention to your child’s personality and other important information that she should know about. For instance, if your child had recently been ill, inform the teacher so that she can understand your child’s bouts of discomfort or challenges in acclimatising to the new environment.

3. Be Positive About the Time When Your Toddler Gets Home

Perhaps on a given day, the time that you dropped off your kid at preschool coincided with your busy schedule and the episode of separation anxiety, causing some words intended for good to come out the wrong way. For example, when you mean to say, “Don’t worry, it’s all okay. Your teacher and friends will be with you, and Mum will pick you up at the end of the day.” But somehow, at the spur of the moment, you say, “Don’t worry, it’s okay. Think about what a fine time you’ll have at home when Mum picks you up,” in a matter-of-factly tone.

If communication had been unclear, and your toddler is now having separation anxiety with a meltdown, reassure your child immediately.

Time spent at home is meant to be positive and fun, a time for the whole family.

Thus, when referring to time spent at home, keep conversations about it positive, even more so when everything seems to haphazardly happen at once. Rise above it, and set a role model for your child.

4. Don’t Deliberately Leave without Saying Goodbye

Now you see Mum, now you don’t. This may sound a little amusing, but not to your child. She may be shocked at the sudden disappearance of Mum, and separation anxiety is sure to set in. Instead, find a special way to say goodbye to your child, a method that is fun or even better, let her think of one, like “It’s never goodbye but see you later!”

Once she’s done that, let her enjoy the fun yet engaging activities, and that’s a cue for you to leave.

5. Prepare for the Second Week

If the first of school turns out splendid, without any signs of separation anxiety, don’t let your guard down the second week.

As your child is still very young, and small, there is the possibility of separation anxiety setting in even after school has started for a few weeks.

Ease your child out of it with the points mentioned above, and remember that “young people are not built as adults to cope with stress, because the pre-frontal cortex of their brain is still developing. They are more likely to respond with their ‘unthinking’ emotions than with logical faculties when challenges arise,” say authors David Chiem and Brian Caswell in The Art of Communicating with Your Child.

5 Ways to Prepare Your Child for the New School Year

Once, a passenger onboard a plane was greeted by the air-steward who said, “Hi Sir, I served you onboard the last time,” to which the passenger replied, “Holiday’s over. A great year is about to begin!”

Like the passenger, we can certainly look back with pride as we embark on another exciting time for our children, some starting school for the first time, to achieve their milestones in the new year.

Opportunities abound with more to learn, more friendships to forge and greater discoveries to make, all through fun and engaging activities. With the Champion Mindset and the Education and Life philosophy of 100% Respect Zero Fear, coupled with the practical checklist below on how to start the year, the beginning of 2017 will prove a fruitful time for all.

1. Make Use of Your Public Holidays – especially New Year’s Day

It proves great to have New Year’s Day because after all that partying and celebration, we all need a day off to sleep well, wind down and get our children ready for school.

On this day, tell your child about school, explaining that it will be a new place filled with a kind teacher and kids that are his age. Open up his school bag together with him, and delightfully explain to him some fun activities in his text book. Once you see that joy on his face, tell him there are more to come, together with nice, yummy food, a fun time with other children, singing and art.

Remember to let your child know that you will be waiting for him to tell you all about school on the first day when you pick him up. That way, you can gauge your child’s response and experience at school, doing the necessary to balance out the details for him, such as getting him more stationery.

2. Thoughtful Orientation Programmes

As most schools offer orientation programmes, be sure you attend them because they offer you some vital facts surrounding the school, such as information about the school premises, classrooms and gyms. At times, information will be obtained from you and documented on paper or digitally during orientation.

MindChamps’ orientation for parents are superbly thoughtful and exhaustive, applicable not just for the start of Playgroup, Nursery and Kindergarten but for all Champs who are commencing classes basically. What is more, at orientation, Champs meet their teachers, with whom they will be spending a lot of time.

In addition, your child will familiarise himself with the school premises, while you gain an understanding of the key learning outcomes and what to prepare for your child through the curriculum talk/update. This usually occurs at the start of the year. This is applicable to all Champs, whether they are starting school for the first time or otherwise.

3. Play with Your Child, for a Securely-attached Kid

In the book Talking with the Sky, authors Brian Caswell and David Chiem address the secret behind “securely-attached children” who are “able to separate from parent with confidence.” The secret to such children lies in the fact that their parents tend to play more with them.

The book lists the quote from Reverend Jesse Jackson, “Your children need your presence more than your presents.”

Thus, spend quality time in playing and bonding with your child; the benefits could well be seen on the first day of school, when your child is able to enjoy school right from the start, fully aware that Mummy will be there for him when school is over.

The book continues to explore that “bonding with children is different from spoiling them,” and that bonding is “the easiest parenting task of all”, being the “least expensive too”.

And all it takes is a hug. So go ahead, plan for the first day of school with a hug!

4. Make Friends

Another confident booster for your child lies in making friends. When conversing with your child about school, throw light on how interesting it will be for her to find out about the similarities as well as differences there are to the friends around her. Nurture her inquisitive nature as a child to find out about the right things, such as cultural differences and different pets. Before you know it, your child will have good friends so that she will enjoy school in this aspect too.

5. Establish A Sound Sleep Routine

Your child will probably be highly excited with all the occurrences at school, including the new friends he’s made, so understandably, you’d have to introduce a wind down time so that your child can get the necessary sleep he needs.

In Talking with the Sky, Caswell and Chiem write about the importance of sleep, as it affects children’s concentration the following day. Indeed, at the tender age when “three- to 10-year-olds need 10-12 hours [of sleep] a night,” the authors suggest that “children spend 30 minutes unwinding with a quiet activity such as doing a jigsaw puzzle, reading a book or quietly playing with a favourite toy before starting their bedtime routine.”

The bedtime routine takes another 30 minutes and they include wearing pyjamas, brushing teeth, a goodnight hug and then soft music.

“This way, your child will anticipate sleep at a non-conscious level.”

Indeed, that is sound advice, and your child will be ready for school the next day, all fresh and ready for more learning.

Find out more about MindChamps PreSchool, the industry leader with Number 1 market share in premium range preschools in Singapore.

5 things you can do to help your child prepare for Primary 1

[caption id="attachment_12794" align="aligncenter" width="524"] Helping your child prepare for Primary 1[/caption]

There are quite a few phases in life that make parents realise that their little one is all grown up, and one of these phases is the transition from preschool to Primary 1. It must be a proud moment for you as a parent, as you think about your child donning that new uniform and how he/she can now become more independent. We share your joy, and we’d like to highlight some vital steps you can take to help your child prepare for yet another milestone in his/her young life.

1. When the School Bell Rings!

To begin with, your child will need to be time sensitive – this includes waking up at a specified time in the morning and learning to catch the bus on time. Besides avoiding being late for school, punctuality in general is a great habit to cultivate from young.

While in school, the start and turn of events revolve around the bell ringing, and it would be great if your child can start the next class by being prepared (e.g., Keeping his/her books or taking out the arts and crafts kit).  Students who make the effort to be prepared for lessons often leave a good impression on their teachers.

Helping Your Child: Since your child is just starting his/her Primary 1 journey, you can help by catching the bus with him/her for the first month or so, and arrange for pick up after school. As your child starts to get the hang of the school routine, do step back gradually and let him/her go through it all independently.

Now’s also a great time to encourage your child to get out of bed promptly in the morning when the alarm rings, instead of lingering for too long in bed – the last thing we want is for him/her to oversleep and be late for school.

2. The Courage to Speak Up 

As your child will need to be more independent from Primary 1 onwards, he will need to learn to open up to both teachers and peers, and voice his/her intentions in various situations in school. This includes simple tasks such as getting the food and drink items from the canteen during break time and articulating his/her thoughts clearly during show and tell.

Helping Your Child: Do guide your child on how to communicate politely, and remind him/her on the importance of offering a nice ‘thank you’ when the request is granted.

One way to do this is to act out the roles and situations at home, for example, with your child asking for the food he wants, and you playing the role of the one serving the food. You can include the act of exchanging money as well, so that’s an added item learnt.

3: Fluency in Language

Now that your child is progressing to Primary 1, it is essential that he/she is able to read and write well. Apart from helping him/her catch up with lessons in school, having the fluency in these two key skills will lead to an advantage in the composition writing and reading components.

Helping Your Child: You can help your child develop the literacy skills needed to do well in primary school and beyond through literacy programmes such as MindChamps Reading & Writing. After more than a decade of extensive research and development, MindChamps has developed the Reading & Writing enrichment programme for children aged 3 to 10 years old to instill in them the desire to read and write, and equip them with the skills that will last them into their adult years.

In reading, for example, the programme does not teach phonics in isolation. In phonics, the programme teaches words, blending graphemes and phonemes within the body of text, for this has proven to be the most effective way to master language. Once the foundation for reading is established, the ability to write naturally follows.

Find out more about MindChamps’ Reading & Writing programme and register for a complimentary Literacy Assessment for your child now.

4. Pack the right stuff

The things that your child need to bring to school may vary from day to day, so do help him/her by offering some tips to pack smart for school.

Helping Your Child: Go through the packing of your child’s school bag the night before for the first two weeks or so and help him/her along the way. This can come in the form of a weekly packing list based on your child’s class timetable, where you both determine the items needed from Monday to Friday.

You might also want to emphasise that your child updates this list as and when there are changes in the schedule, so that he/she does not end up leaving any important items at home or carrying extra items that are not needed for the day.

5. Life in school

Before the big first day of school, have frequent conversations with your child about what to expect of life as a primary schooler. Apart from the curriculum and learning objectives, you might want to also talk about your child’s social life as well.  This gives both of you a chance to identify potential problems that he/she might face (e.g. making new friends), and come up with a plan to overcome them.

Helping Your Child: Help your shy child build his/her confidence when interacting with others by organising a get-together with his/her friends from school or meeting up with your own friends who have children around the same age group. This will allow your child to practice building up his/her social skills and boost your child’s confidence in joining in and/or initiating a conversation.

Find out how the MindChamps Thinking Cap programme can help your child excel in school through effective learning techniques and by developing the Champion Mindset in him/her!